结构in the first place/ secondly/ on top of that
〔原文〕we met at the school gate and went there together early in the morning.
〔修正〕early in the morning we met at the school gate and went there together.
〔原文〕the young man couldn’t help crying when he heard the bad news.
〔修正〕hearing the bad news， the young man couldn’t help crying.
〔原文〕i met him in the street yesterday.
〔修正〕it was in the street that i met him yesterday.
it was yesterday that i met him in the street.
he sat in a chair with a newspaper in the hand.
satisfied with the result，he decided to go on with a new experiment.
only in this way can we achieve our goal.
never before have i seen such a wonderful film.
not only should we study in the college, but also learn how to be a decent person.
if so，victory will be ours.
you can make some changes wherever necessary.
〔原文〕he stopped us half an hour ago. he made us catch the next offender.
〔修正〕he stopped us half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender.
〔原文〕we had a short rest. then we began to play happily. we sang and danced.
some told stories. some played chess.
〔修正〕after a short rest， we had great fun singing and dancing， telling jokes and playing chess.注意使用不同长度的句子，要结合使用，不能只用短句或只用长句。
①递进: then(然后)， besides(还有)， furthermore(而且)， moreover(此外)等。
②转折: however(然而)， but(但是)， on the contrary (相反)， after all(毕竟)等。
③总结: finally(最后)， at last(最后)， in brief(总之)， in conclusion(最后)等。
④强调: indeed(确实)， certainly(一定)， surely(确定)， above all(尤其)等。
⑤对比: in the same way(同样地)， just as(正如)， on the one hand…on the other hand(一方面……另一方面……)等。
相似的比较： similarly, in the same manner 相反的比较： on the other hand, conversely, whereas, while, instead, nevertheless, in contrast, on the contrary, compared with …,
〔原文〕a new railway is being built in my hometown.
〔修正〕a new railway is under construction in my hometown.